No amount of money can replace time with your children, so though we all know how expensive children can be, most mothers and fathers negotiate hard to gain some amount of child custody during the divorce. If you are considering divorce or have already started the divorce process, you may assume that once you get custody of your minor children, your spouse will have to pay child support and everything will be hunky dory.
After all, it is illegal for a father or mother to skip child support payments that have been ordered by the court, and failure to pay can lead to property liens, professional license suspension, and even jail time in extreme cases. Even with these protections in place, however, your child support payments aren’t guaranteed. At the end of the day, that money depends on the actions of your ex-spouse – and there are myriad reasons why they may stop paying or become unable to pay.
As you begin to map out your post-divorce life as a single parent, especially your post-divorce financial life, it is important that your financial solvency doesn’t rely on receiving child support payments each month. If those payments are the only thing that allows you to cover future expenses, like your mortgage for example, then even a short disruption could send you into debt freefall.
The Truth About Child Support Payments in America
Roughly 28.5% of parents received some of the child support income they were owed, and over a quarter of parents (25.9%) received none of the required child support from their child’s father! If you are relying on child support income to survive, you may be sorely disappointed.
Why Some Men Don’t Pay Child Support
Many fathers do pay child support faithfully each month and care deeply about the well-being of their children. But some fathers simply choose not to pay, possibly as a way to punish their exes. Other fathers may want to meet their financial obligation to their children but are unable. Your ex may not be able to pay if he:
- Loses his job
- Faces a costly medical emergency
- Gets sued or faces bankruptcy
- Gets incarcerated
- Becomes disabled
- Faces business failure
- Starts a new family and puts his money toward them
If your ex faces a financial crisis (such as losing his job), he can appeal to the courts to modify his child support order to lower his payments.
It Could Happen at Any Time
What’s important to realize is that child support payments rely entirely on your ex-spouse. You cannot control whether they lose their job, get injured, or simply decide to stop writing your child support check. Even after years of consistent payments, that check could stop coming for any number of reasons.
That is why it is critical that you put yourself into a strong enough financial position so that you can still survive even if your spouse doesn’t fulfill their child support obligation. If that means making big changes, such as deciding not to keep your house after divorce or going back to work, you must be willing to make these hard decisions. Do not rely on your ex exclusively to keep you and your children financially afloat, or you could find yourself floundering!
How to Get Help with Your Post-Divorce Expenses
If you can’t rely on your spouse following through with their child support obligation, how are you going to meet your monthly expenses? It’s a good idea to sit down with a financial planner as early as possible in your divorce proceedings. A financial planner can help you devise a post-divorce budget that doesn’t rely on child support from your ex. They can also help you with other aspects of your finances, like boosting your credit score, dealing with credit card debt, covering child care costs, and getting the most from your tax returns as a newly single parent.
Divorce is hard enough, but divorce with children can be especially difficult. Rather than go it alone, prepare yourself by signing up for a Second Saturday Workshop near you. You’ll hear from divorce attorneys, financial planners, and other professionals who can help you not only survive your divorce, but thrive.